More Rolls Than a Bakery

I am so uncomfortable. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times... I want to lose weight! I want to "diet!" I want to get healthy. Tonight my husband and I went to see "Avenue Q." I, of course, could not find anything to wear that I felt comfortable in. I settled for a long, oversized, thin black coat, jeans and black boots. I was well hidden under all of that, but caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and well, wasn't so well hidden. I looked like a big, giant, Nun, Priest, Judge...something large wearing a black coat. Ugh...

All I can think about is surgery... That's it. I just cannot wait to start the rest of my life. I pray that Monday when I call the surgeon's office, they tell me they are waiting for approval and I get the good news by next friday. There IS a chance this could happen and I'm trying to be optimistic. They've told me NOT to lose weight (for the first time in a LONG time, doctor told me NOT to lose any weight...so strange!)...so here I am uncomfortable and depressed with my looks and having an auto-immune flare... rash city all over my chest and back that burns, lightheaded, nauseaous, AND still getting over this killer cold I've been battling since the strep throat I caught Dec 1st!... ugh.... It's realllllly hard to be positive when I feel soooo crappy!!! But I am trying to keep my eye on the prize.
Oh and as for "Avenue Q"...highly recommend it! Great puppet show that is totally adult oriented. Loved it! Hilarious! Go see it!