In 13 Days EVERYTHING will change...

13 days till surgery. So ready. So excited. And my nerves have calmed down. I just want to get it done already and get on with my HEALTHY life!

"Let's Get Ready to Weighhhh lesssss" (said in the "Let's get ready to rumble" voice)

TOMORROW I start the 2 week pre-op diet... I am so ready to do it. It's wierd. For some reason, knowing that my surgery is getting closer, my appetite is diminishing. THIS IS A GREAT THING! It's just kind of odd. I thought I would be wanting to eat all these things I am saying "goodbye" too. But not so much... There have been a few things, like 2 donuts, that I ate knowing this may be the last time to eat them and saying "goodbye" wasn't that hard! I know what donuts taste like and I know how I feel after I eat them, like SHIT, like a COW, like a sluggish ball of lard. I hate the way I feel when I eat junk. I have NO energy. I am tired and I just generally feel like crap. If I eat healthy, believe it or not I have eaten healthy in my lifetime, I feel energized. I wake up rested. I feel comfortable and my clothes feel comfortable. I don't feel bloated and disgusting and I have less "fat days." (Girls, you know about the Fat Days...ugh). What does that tell me? Eating healthy has way more benefits than eating like shit. What do I do? Eat like shit. What does that tell me? I am a nutcase. Just kidding.
I boiled 8 eggs tonight to eat for breakfast this week. Here is a sample of what my meals will be like each day for the next 2 weeks:

Breakfast- 1 hard boiled egg, 2 oz apple slices

Mid-morning snack- 8oz nonfat milk with 1 scoop protein powder

Lunch- 1 1/2 oz baked chicken, 2 oz steamed broccoli

Afternoon snack- 8oz water or milk with 1 scoop protein powder

Dinner- 1 1/2 oz fish, 2 oz green beans, 2 oz strawberries




I can do this. 2 oz is not a very large amount, but it's not starvation (damn near, but let's be positive). It comes out to be like an 800 calorie diet. In addition to these meals, I need to also have 64-100 oz of fluid (non-carbonated, caffeine, sugar free, calorie free). I bought a 99cent app on my iPhone that tracks how much fluid I drink, to help me keep track. I also bought an app that tracks how much protein I eat. I need to make sure in addition to these meals, that I have 35-40g of protein...I should have about 60-80g of protein a day total. AND very very very little to no carbohydrates! It's like the Atkins diet, high protein, no carbs. I can so do this! I am excited to lose weight, gain health and see the new me. The last time I was skinny, was probably about 12 yrs old, which is 17 years ago. Puberty was not kind to Michelle, not a bit. So as I sip my LAST (gasp) Blue Moon in a frosty mug with an orange wedge, I think to myself, "this is it. this is the beginning." TOMORROW the rest of my life begins. Here I come!

Oh Em Gee

OMG! Found out yesterday that my surgery was APPROVED by my insurance!! All scheduled to have surgery 4/13...I couldn't be happier. Life is going to change... yessss!!!

(Humming the "Jeopardy" Theme Song!)

So, as you may have guessed by the title of this entry...I am waiting still...I am scheduled for the 4 hour Pre-Op Class on March 23rd. That is just a couple of weeks away! I just hope that I will know something before then regarding my approval. I am DESPERATELY hoping it get's approved. I feel in my heart that this is the best choice for me and my health. I want this to happen for me.
That's it for now... Back to work!

Chocolate Poptarts, Hamburger Buns, Tempura and Rice

Those are among the foods that I will be giving up for the sake of good health and post-surgical requirements. Eventually I think the tempura will be ok, but the rest should be a no-no. To be honest, as of this moment in time, I am NOT feeling like I am going to be missing out. I am more excited about the positive lifestyle changes I will be making, rather than worrying about the loss of junk food. I know that the road to health will not be easy. I know that there will be challenges and I may not be completely happy with the way things turn out (i.e. extra skin), but the pros definitely outweigh the cons for me. I have thought about it long and hard, and this is FOR SURE, what I want.

Waiting for APPROVAL!

My surgeon's office called today! I was at work, but my husband (who is 2 yrs out from his GB with the same surgeon) was my advocate! They asked if I had made an appointment for the Sleep Study, which I hadn't, because when I met the BMI requirement of 40.0, we decided that I'd rather wait and see if insurance denied me to find out if I have sleep apnea to try to then get approval. For the record, I do NOT think I have sleep apnea and snore only when I'm congested/stuffy or extremely exhausted...so pretty rare and not very loud (or so I've been told). The office just wanted to cross our fingers and hope I had it, in the event I didn't meet the BMI. My BMI is 40.0 exactly... So my husband reminded them that I met the BMI etc etc etc. SOOOOOO they said they would submit a request for surgery approval for Roux-En-Y Gastric Bypass!! WOOHOO!!!
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy and excited!
I thought that maybe I would hear from them next Monday, but not already today. I just had my psych evaluation on Monday, he said the surgeon would have it Friday, that's tomorrow.So it's all going so fast so far and so smooth. I feel like it's almost too good to be true. Like I am going to get a call saying "Sorry your insurance denied it," or something. However, I am trying to be optimistic and hopeful. But the pessimist in me won't shut up sometimes. I keep repeating to myself "keep your eye on the prize, keep your eye on the prize."... and keep in mind that the first month I should lose about 30-40 lbs... The most weight I have ever lost consistently and consecutively was after my son, Hunter, was born...I lost about 40 lbs, with the help of phentermine (prescription diet pills), over the period of about 6 months. So 1 month and the same result, AMAZING. Don't get me wrong, I totally know that this is not the MAGIC CURE for my weight "problem." I have seen my husband weigh every meal, take lots of vitamins and do all the things it takes to make this surgery a success. As it has been said a million times in this process (however short) this surgery is a TOOL not a CURE. I need this tool to help me, once and for all, get HEALTHY and stay HEALTHY. It's 90% about health and 10% looks for me. I know I am going to have some saggy excess skin (eew!) , might lose some hair (wah!), can't binge on ice cream or Chili's Molten Lava Cake (so sad!) but every good thing usually results from some kind of sacrifice. If I want to live in a house (good thing), I have to work (sacrifice). So this is it...
Now it's the waiting game... Hopefully next Monday will be one of the happiest day of my life and I will get the APPROVAL I've been waiting for... Cross your fingers with me!

More Rolls Than a Bakery

I am so uncomfortable. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times... I want to lose weight! I want to "diet!" I want to get healthy. Tonight my husband and I went to see "Avenue Q." I, of course, could not find anything to wear that I felt comfortable in. I settled for a long, oversized, thin black coat, jeans and black boots. I was well hidden under all of that, but caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and well, wasn't so well hidden. I looked like a big, giant, Nun, Priest, Judge...something large wearing a black coat. Ugh...

All I can think about is surgery... That's it. I just cannot wait to start the rest of my life. I pray that Monday when I call the surgeon's office, they tell me they are waiting for approval and I get the good news by next friday. There IS a chance this could happen and I'm trying to be optimistic. They've told me NOT to lose weight (for the first time in a LONG time, doctor told me NOT to lose any weight...so strange!)...so here I am uncomfortable and depressed with my looks and having an auto-immune flare... rash city all over my chest and back that burns, lightheaded, nauseaous, AND still getting over this killer cold I've been battling since the strep throat I caught Dec 1st!... ugh.... It's realllllly hard to be positive when I feel soooo crappy!!! But I am trying to keep my eye on the prize.
Oh and as for "Avenue Q"...highly recommend it! Great puppet show that is totally adult oriented. Loved it! Hilarious! Go see it!

Ahhhhem! Is this thing on?? Tough crowd tonight!

Inspired by another blog documenting a weight loss journey, here I am. I LOVE to blog, love to write and love to share....so this should be fun and somewhat therapeutic. Hopefully someone will read this blog and find some hope and help!

Some of my loved ones know that I am going through the process of getting approved for Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass surgery. It is not something that I am extremely comfortable with sharing with EVERYONE right now, but I guess in a way, that's what I am doing! I have a great support system in my husband, who is a year out from his own GB surgery, and a few friends who have had sucessful bariatric surgeries... and friends who haven't but are just always extremely supportive as good friends should be! I do have some people in my life who are NOT a big fan of bariatric (weight loss) surgeries... and to that I say, everyone is entitled to their opinion. However, I will not be discussing my decision with them anymore because I only want positive support in regards to this decision.
Having said that....

Most of us are overweight to some degree. For me, weight is an extremely sensitive subject and always has been. Since Aunt Flo first visited at 14, my weight has been climbing. At times I have lost small amounts, up to almost 40 lbs just a couple yrs ago... But here I am, at the most I have EVER weighed in my 29 yrs and uncomfortable and unhappy. It's time to get serious and get healthy. It's time to make permanent lifestyle changes for myself and my family.
My mom passed away almost 10 years ago. She was only 39 years old. She had battled high blood pressure since she was young and spent her latter years overweight. She had a stroke with a hemorrhage in her brain so severe, emergency brain surgery did not help. She was pronounced as brain dead in a matter of 2 days. There has been no single greater loss than the loss of my mother. Without going into detail of my younger years, I did not have a lot of "good" time with my mom, but I can honestly say I had a few years with her before her death that gave me great memories to last a lifetime! And the day she had her stroke, I did tell her that I loved her...that is something I am eternally grateful for! I will be 30 in October. yes, the big 3-0. I do not have high blood pressure, I do not have high cholesterol, I am not diabetic... but I do have osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis. I do have weight bearing joint pain as a result of my arthritis and my knees can no longer handle carrying around this extra weight. I am tired of being uncomfortable and I REFUSE to go up a size in clothing and I am quickly finding my clothes being way too tight! It's time to lose the weight and keep it off.I want to be around for my son and someday, my grandchildren... my mom never got to meet her 3 grandbabies.
So, 2010, this is MY year....and I cannot wait to see what happens next....